Monday, August 4, 2008

Quarterly build-up

I think it is fair to say that each quarter of a year, things build up and I have a mini-breakdown. I overall am happy, contented, positive, and stable. I trust the Lord with all of my heart and do not dwell on the negative elements of life but instead really look for things to be grateful for. But, 2 -4 times each year, things don't move through the emotional pipeline as fast and get backed up. Yesterday was one of those days where things aren't flowing as usual. I was a bit irritable the day before yesterday and it carried over to yesterday. I rarely get irritable so I knew things were just off. It came to a head yesterday afternoon. I can't say anything significant happend to spur on this clog of emotion. I have been thinking about our upcoming move and how we are a bit behind in our financial goals but I don't think those things alone would cause things to go aray. I am sure it is because I haven't really got to spend quality time with the Lord as much I usually enjoy. This time with the Lord is essential to my health. I know there has been some weakness in my foundation without this quailty time with my Father. So, today, I am going to tie up some loose ends by having quality time with the Lord.

Evelina has become increasingly challenging over the past couple weeks. I definately need to be on my game if I am to handle her game. For example, she wanted me to get in her little pool. The instant I got in she started yelling at me to get out. The yelling increased to the point of her taking some swings at me. I had just swatted her before this episode for not coming when I called her so instead of swatting her, I made her sit on her chair while I splashed and had fun in the pool until she could change her attitude. It wasn't instant improvement but she did eventually get in the pool with me and we splashed together. Being a mom is one process after another. She did give me a kiss and tell me she loved me before her nap so I felt a bit better. Not that I am parenting based on how I feel because if I did that, she would be very messed up. I have to stay focused. If I stray just a little, I will fall and take her out with me. The Lord has entrusted me to be her parent and given her to me as a reward so I must raise her in all diligence.

While my emotions were tweaked, I got easily annoyed with a couple people whom I love. I normally have LOTS of grace for those around me but I felt like I was being grated on all sides. I did not get all confrontational on those who slapped me with offensiveness but I don't think I really responded in love either.

Well... I think that is enough venting for now. I hope your day is GREAT and you see the Lord in His marvelous light!


Stephanie said...

Thank you for sharing - I can so relate to days like this -