Monday, September 29, 2008

Dear Father,

I am really struggling with my emotions today. The unknowns of my life erode at my confidence. I remind myself of all of the positives. We have a warm and comfortable home to live in while we attempt to bring healing to our finances. We are healthy. My husband loves me. Our little family is tight. We have jobs. I do feel better once I set my mind on things above. I do know your ways are higher than my ways. Your plan is far better than any plan I contrive. We really are blessed. I see it! Life is just hard sometimes. It is hard living between two worlds. The constant nag of this world versus the loving, beautiful, perfect world above quietly inviting, calling, wooing. It is so obvious to me which is the better road. I wouldn't give up our relationship, Father, for anything this world has to offer. My life belongs to you and my heart is awakened by your constant pursuit. I know my worries stem from the lack of time I spend in your arms. It often feels so petty to ask you about the cares of this life. In the big picture, does it really matter if Matthew is not a worship leader but an assistant leader? Does it matter how many children we have or where we live? Does it matter if I design hairclips? Compared to your glory, the answer would seem an unequivical "no". But for some reason, I feel you telling my spirit that these things do matter to you. Not just in the "of course you care about my life" way. I feel your peace covering me, blanketing me while you whisper, again, you have a plan. However meaningful then trivialized my cares are, you gave them to me. You sowed them into my heart for just this season. For what reason, I may not know. But this I know; I can trust you with everything.

Alicia

2 comments:

Christine said...

A gentle reminder to spend time with GOd everyday. Blessings on your family.

Michelle said...

I am becoming convinced that it's exactly the little things that do matter to God. He laughs at the antics of the nations while keeping His watchful, caring eyes on sparrows, flowers, orphans, children, etc. So don't be afraid, little lamb. Your Father sees and cares about all these things, and most especially your heart. Love you.